Momma says “It’s not a toy!”

By: Hannah Stewart and Megan Hauser

To all the guys out there: Have you ever been caught playing with yourself, adjusting yourself, or just plain keeping your hands warm and your Momma or someone else said “It’s not a toy!”. Being a mother of three boys myself, I assume that at least once in your life someone has said “It’s not a toy!” or a similar phrase to you. The truth is that while your penis is not a toy, it can be used for fun. The problem comes when it’s used for fun in the wrong way.

So I got to thinking, most toys come with instructions on how to use them safely and appropriately, so I put together some rules to live by when using your “toy” alone or with others. When you don’t follow the rules, that “toy” of yours can get you into a lot of trouble.  Although I encourage all young people to wait to have sex, I also understand that it is ultimately your choice.     So to keep you off the sexual predators list and off the maternity ward, below are some basic instructions for using your “toy”.

  1. It’s a one player game until you and your partner are at least 16 (preferably out of high school). This is not just a rule, this is WV law (Article 61-8B-2)
  2. When it becomes a two player game both players must use forms of protection (condoms, birth control pill, IUD, etc ) to keep from landing in the land of little people(AKA Parenthood) or the land of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases).
  3. You may go directly to jail for using cameras and other devices to document these events.   Sending pictures, receiving pictures, being in possession of a video of an individual under 18 is child pornography and can carry a hefty sentence…don’t do it, it’s not worth your future.
  4. The safe word is NO…even if your partner did not verbally say “no”, pay attention to clues that mean “NO”.
  • Clues that mean NO are:
    • If your partner doesn’t clearly say yes
    • If your partner has had even a sip of an alcoholic drink
    • If your partner has smoked weed, snorted cocaine, shot up, snorted or smoked heroin or meth or is under the influence of any other drug(s);
    • If there is any doubt in your mind of your partner’s intentions, then your partner is saying NO

Here’s the deal guys, telling you “it’s not a toy” isn’t going to keep you from being curious and wanting to explore your sexuality. But what we want you to hear is “wait to have sex and if you don’t wait, this is what you need to know: Be Safe, Be Respectful, and Consider the information above and PLEASE talk to a trusted adult before having sex.  If you don’t have a trusted adult, send us a Direct Message on Twitter @Keepitrealmc. You can also contact the Morgan County Health Department 304-258-1513, Morgan County Partnership 304-258-7807, or Morgan County Starting Points 304-258-5600. For more information check out some of these awesome sites:


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